Wednesday, August 18, 2004
this is totally getting out of hand!!! i hate it whn things start coming to me like this.. it's not good.. i hate it!!! why muz ppl say one thing and thn do another?! apparently u are nt v happy abt me meeting up with other ppl and assuming the status of being single and available thn juz say it! why muz u start convinicing urself tt "yah it's alrite it's e truth anyway!" ok lor so be it.. thn in e first place dun get upset over it! if it's troubling u juz open ur damn bloody mouth and say it out!! u've to juz bottle it up and thn say "oh yah it's fine" and thn start pounding on ur heart.. i noe hw it feels whn u are treating someone nicely and thn u are not really geting wat u deem that u deserved.. ok in e first place i dun wnat to like someone cos someone is treating me nicely.. i mean yah of cos tt's one of the factors i'm looking for.. but i cant possibly fall in love with everyone who's treating me nicely rite? so wat the big deal abt treating ppl nice rite?! haiz.. i cant tell myself that i'm attached happily and everything since there's ppl treating me nicely.. i noe i totally sound like a slut here.. but .. haiz... i dun wnat to like someone cos someone is treating me nicely u get it!?! things are not juz on tt level... and whn u are not happy abt the returns of this investment.. thn do something abt it.. if u chose to juz sit back and watch hw e stock market fluctuates..thn so be it..i cant help u on that... all i can say is i wun reciprocate NICE with LOVE it's not rite
sometimes i dunno..maybe i'm getting e wrong attention.. sometimes i really feel like getting out of the whole circle and thn juz shut up and dun think abt it anymore.. sometimes i feel that i'm so abnormal.. wat am i supposed to think abt?! haiz.. juz bloody hell get into a r/s and thn tt's it!!
i'm still affected by e previous r/s i hve to admit it.. but that one is more or less gone.. i dun even want to speak to that person or shld i say i've nothing to say to that person.. to me now it's nt worth it.. esp whn that person is already happily attached and i'm not exactly feeling tt crazy to try to share e joy and happiness in that r/s hahaha so now it's juz the "hi and bye" kind of conversation and sometimes it's even less that tt.. hmm perhaps i'm petty but thn nt tt i'm still liking the person juz perhaps i'm not acknowledging the way the frenship is gg on btw us....
D.A. flew at 7:42 AM
